If we can understand that, if we are
willing to accept this as a fact, that’s a whole different challenge. However
this does not invalidate this truth. Children are catalysts of expansion.
But in order for them to do their
job well, children need to have conscious adults by their side. Adults that
accept them. Who respect them. Even if one can’t fully understand how children
express themselves, how they feel or live, they can nourish from the most
important point. From the fundamental root.
We feel frustrated when we can’t understand our children.
In the middle of an emotional
marasmus, it seems that we can only see what’s on the surface. Our autopilot
takes charge. We react. We turn to what we’ve learned through our own growth. To our
references. To our perceptions. We see and interpret with our adult eyes.
We spend our whole life feeling
things. But by influence, usually external to us, unadjusted influences of the
truth of who we are deeply, only attuned to the physical and palpable exterior,
we bleach our hearts. And we are able to live a whole existence like this.
Disconnected from our true
essence. And when we become parents, we project. We reflect on our children
this ego imposture. On a day-to-day basis, bogged down with challenging
situations and positions that seem to work against us, we walk away from our
heart.
And of course, then there is our
childhood - the disguised giant where all the roots of how we think and act
live.
In childhood, the stage of life
in which we live most in tune with our heart, with the truth of our essence, we
are permanently bombarded with phrases we never expected to hear. And that kill
- literally and physically eliminate - the positive connection synapses for
which we are programmed. Not for lack of good intentions or lack of love. But
out of ignorance. For lack of awareness.
In childhood there is no other
frequency than that of the heart. And the heart is the frequency of the
connection.
Who has not heard phrases such as
"Use your head. You have to use your head. "..." Who's in charge
here is me. "..." I do not care if Agrippina goes to bed at 11
o'clock! "
And with these and other
manifestations of the unfamiliar ego of the adult - which completely obscures
their perceptions - the heart goes devalued. You lose your strength as a key
element in the connection in our relationships. With others. With the world.
With our inner self. And this is digging a deep hole in our value criterion.
Reliable. When the heart is, not only the physical root - physiological - but
also the emotional root. Where it all starts.
We grow - and hence live - so
disconnected with our heart that it becomes almost impossible task to
reconnect.
The good news is that not all it
seems is. And because something seems impossible, that does not mean it is.
Even when it seems like there is
no option, there is always an option. There is always a solution. There is
always a way out. Even if we can not see it. Even when she plays hide-and-seek
with us. What we have to do is find her out of the box. Use creativity. Imagine
the unimaginable.
And then we can reconnect.
Granted. What's the funniest solution? The craziest? The most loving? The one
who is completely conscious? Devoid of ego?
Reconnecting ourselves, in order
to be able to Create with the Heart, involves redoing connections - new
connections - that have been damaged throughout our own growth.
So what is Creating with the
Heart? I start with what Creating with the Heart is not. Creating with the
Heart is not a choice that is made once and abandoned.
It is a conscious choice that is
adopted. That is practiced. That is implemented in our day to day.
To create with the heart is to
free yourself from control. It is to free oneself from the need for power. It
is freeing yourself from all the myths, prejudices and perceptions you have
been building and receiving along your own walk. It is freeing yourself from
your own disconnecting experiences. Experiences that happen all the time. Several
hours a day!
To create with the heart is to
connect, to tune with yourself in the first place. Engage in what you feel the
moment you feel it. Understand why you are feeling it. Understand if it is from
a sense of love or a sense of fear. It is tune in with your emotions. It is to
love oneself and to accept oneself as a full being. For only then can you
accept the emotions and emotions of your children without judgment. Starting
from a love point.
To create with the Heart is to
anchor, then, in its way of educating only practices and tools that depart from
a point of love. Of gratitude.
To create with the Heart is to
lie down today and decide: I am grateful for the children who are in my life.
It may not always be easy, but today I have the CHORUS of choosing to CHANGE
the way I act with my children.
We wake up tomorrow morning and
think that as difficult as it may be, today I will be brave and manage my
emotions before speaking / acting / reacting.
Today, instead of being the
projection of my anxious pains or of my past, today I will be who I AM. Today
I'm going to open a new page and be who I want to be.
I want to assure you that even
though at first glance this seems terrifying or even small talk - I assure you
that this little practice will cause massive changes in its rewiring process.
And here we are talking about neuroscience. Numerous studies mention the
importance - the vital need - of connection for sustainability and survival. And to pass on to our children
the message that they can be who they truly are in their highest and true
essence.
I assure you that you will continue
to have moments you may feel like climbing walls, tearing your hair or getting
in a space shuttle and landing on another planet. It will not be all zen at all
times.
But the good news is that we do
not have to be perfect. We just have to go walking. Do not we like the way we
act with our children? Do we constantly repent of what we say or do?
This is a way for our heart - of
our conscience - to confirm that we are ready to change. Listening to it is
imperative.
Seems too demanding? It is
actually only more conscious. We're not going to wake up tomorrow and be
different. Do not wait. This will probably happen. It is one of the effects of
expanding our perception and absorbing new knowledge.
I know that every adult who
implements this practice will see improvements not only in communicating with
children, in their verbal and nonverbal manifestations, but also in highly
significant improvements in their own lives.
By broadening your perception,
your brain will make new connections.
The mind that opens to a new idea
never returns to its original size. Just coming out of the box, releasing all
of our ego, we can embrace this new consciousness. And educate ourselves as parents.